i was raised in the organization.
my stepfather was a ministerial servant but was removed when i was 14, due to family problems, which he blamed on me (he was abusive, physically, and was told that if he cannot control his family, he could not be an example to the congregation).
i became pregnant at 15 and have not really lived around my family since then.
It sounds like you have a wonderful foundation for your life 'outside', your husband, your children. Don't let the person studying with you jeopardize all that! Just read, read, and read some more...I recommend www.silentlambs.org and www.freeminds.org . If the info on those sites doesn't convince you once and for all that these people cannot possibly be of any god you'd want to worship...than nothing can.
Welcome aboard...
essie
i don't think she has posted this yet.
mulan called me yesterday afternoon to tell me her dad had suffered a stroke.
i did talk to my dad last night and he seemed to think that grandpa was going to be ok. i had a birthday party with nine little girls all afternoon and was completely out of touch as a result.. i think she could use a hug, don't you?.
((((((((((Mulan)))))))))))))
My heart is with you, my friend...
love
essie
http://www.meadmaker.com/joke/up/friends.html simple friends and real friends
a simple friend can stand by you when you are right, but a real friend will stand by you even when you are wrong.
a simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
The timing on this thread couldn't have come at a better, more appropriate moment for me.
Thanks, Jayson and Stinkypantz...
~essie
these last two weeks have been just plain awful for me... 2 weeks i hope to never have to go through.
firstly my mum disowns me, then i lose my baby and get an infection from the miscarriage.
i go back to work after having 10 days off to find out i have lost my job.
Oh, Kim. You have had a horrible time of it lately... I'm so sorry! Your mom had no right to call you at work about personal issues...neither did the elders! That makes me so furious.
You should talk to your employer. I would send notice to the elders that if they contact you at work again you will seek legal recourse. Tell your employer that you are being harassed and are seeking to stop it, there is no way they should be able to fire you for that!
I'm probably not making much sense this morning, I'm pretty out of it today but I just had to post and tell you I've been thinking about you ever since you lost your baby...and will keep sending love and healing thoughts your way...
hugs,
essie
hey everyone....this this my first time on one of these forums... been out for short while, but i miss my family and the friends i grew up with.. feeling a little shitty.
how did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?.
by the way, if your wondering about my nik, look it up, thats how my mind is right now.
Hey there boolean, welcome to the never-ending circus that is the life of an exJW with relatives still in the Borg! I hope you find some comfort here among those in similiar circumstances.
Wish I had some wonderfully healing advice to offer. All I can do is recommend a couple books, and websites. Read as much as you can at Freeminds and Silentlambs if you ever waver wondering whether the decision to leave was right.
Read this board often to know that you're not alone and so many of us have lost everything by leaving, except the most important thing, ourselves.
Sometimes, you will feel like you've lost yourself, too. But you have to give it time. You'll find you're still in there, and that you like yourself a lot better for having had the sense to finally say enough, and get out.
For reading, I recommend The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (changed forever the way I look at my fellow humans) Life Strategies by Dr. Phil McGraw. I've just started reading a book by Byron Katie called "Loving what it is" and it looks good but I can't give it a full review yet cause I haven't gotten that far into it, but it was recommended to me by a venerable poster here :)
Wish you the best of luck. Hope this makes sense as the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet this morning.
Welcome to the real world...enjoy your stay! :)
hugs
essie
things have calmed down again with my mother to the point where i found myself once again in her kitchen last night.
drinking too many cups of coffee as i always do at her house, i imagine if i were a smoker i'd have been lighting one cigarette after another instead.
it had been a pleasant enough evening, i sat there with my crocheting in my lap, something i always take with me to my mother's house so that if i get nervous or stressed out, my hands, and my mind, have something to do and somewhere to go.
Hi Coffee,
just discovered your reply to this thread, thank you for writing.
Unfortunately I could put two chapters in that book, three if you count my own struggle with suicidal tendencies since the age of 12. But I think you're right, if there was a way to remember, and put these stories in one place, it SHOULD be done.
I have webspace...if anyone has essays that they want to put up in a In Memory of those lost to suicide section, e mail me at [email protected] and I will do my best to get them up onto the web.
I am going to add Drew's story to my website right now.
As a footnote; I never found an obituary for Drew, but through a friend of my mom's I was able to get the last known address for his wife, and I did write a letter to her, and her son. I don't know if she'd even read the whole thing, knowing that I'm out of the Org...but I had to try.
thanks again everyone for your posts to this thread. I'm still looking back at them and reading them.
love
essie
i just wanted to say hi to the group here.. been baptized for 15 years now.
my wife has been baptized for a little less than that time period.. been an aux poi., reg pio, ms. wife is a reg pio currently.
now im just a lowly publisher :d. have had many doubts over the years on small matters.
Hi Winston, welcome to the board...
when I saw your username I jumped...an old friend of mine who has since passed used to go by Winston on the old H2O board. Will take me a little while to get used to seeing it again!
Things will be, er, interesting if your wife is still a pioneer...but I wish you only the best as you embark on this journey, my good man. Godspeed!
essie
court tv is televising the longo trial, he was a disfellowshipped jw that killed his family in oregon last year.
i emailed them about my experience, my daughter completed suicide after the elders threatened to disfellowship her.
i also mentioned the bryant family murder suicides in oregon, the husband was disfellowshipped and in a desperate financial situation like longo about 18 months ago.. court tv excepts emails from viewers and sometimes airs them.
Hey Tyler,
I don't know about other countries, but I would say that yes, good looking people can get away with anything, including murder, in the U.S. Horrible, but true, sadly. Good looking and church going? Can't possibly do anything wrong! (gag).
Celebrity will also get you a free pass in most situations over here (look at OJ Simpson, for one...) It's disgusting. I wonder if Bill Clinton had looked like Eisenhower if anyone would've bought his charming all american bit at all!
Not that I'm comparing Clinton to Longo, not by any means. Just an example, and probably a very poor one.
As far as Longo goes...I don't care what religion you grew up in, anyone who would do what this man did DESERVES a fiery hell. I wish there was one sometimes for monsters like him. Death is too good for the b****rd. His wife should've left him. The kids had no choice, she should have gotten them out of there. She just trusted him too much, apparently, or maybe she trusted in Jehovah that He'd keep them safe??? Anyone who murders children is an animal, and I have no sympathy at ALL.
essie
i took the quiz and i got:.
you come from an ancient civilization.
egypt,.
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.
Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmmm. I don't know about that...I thought maybe I was a night sky kinda girl, or maybe the future LOL. But I'm not so conceited to believe the Heaven thing could be true LOL.
Course, if Heaven is a fictional place, then maybe I'm really just a cartoon, as my friends and family have insisted that I am for years LOL.
~essie
our phone rang tonight after over a year of being left alone by the local congreation.
i noticed the name (dont ya just love caller id).
i declined the call and let my hubby know i didn't want to accept it.
((((((((((myself)))))))))))))) big hugs...
They can do what they wish, but it will be without me in attendance.
Good for you. that was the approach I took...and it worked for me. I have no regrets about it, either...
hugs
essie
